Caught in the Aftershock
by LaurenCroft
Summary: After Lara and Sam have survived the horrific ordeal on Yamatai, Lara finds that she has developing feelings for Sam, given what had happened on the island. Can Lara be 'woman' enough to admit her feelings for her best friend? Based off Tomb Raider (2013) Lot's of fluff and possibly - no definitely - Lara and Sam 'going at it' - as it were.
1. Chapter 1 - I'm a Tough Cookie

_____Caught in the Aftershock - Chapter 1 - I'm a Tough Cookie_

_**By LaurenCroft who knows absolutely nothing about ships and what you would find in one.**_

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As I leaned over the railing of the ship, I watched as the waves splashed up the side; parting easily to let the ship through. The same waves, I pondered, that obeyed Queen Himiko as to not let us leave.

If anyone told me that the events of the voyage to find Yamatai would have resulted in that, I would never have believed them. But now, I know that the line between our truth and myths is fragile and blurry. I resented my father, just like the rest. I thought he was a 'fool' to believe such things. But now I know that he was right about everything.

I continued to watch the waves; still in my torn clothes – I hadn't bothered to clean up yet – I'd been in this state for so long I hardly cared. That island had taken everything from me. It had torn me down to ruins, yet, built me up to survive.

I sighed, leaning my arms on the railing; thinking of those who didn't survive. _Alex. Roth. Grim._

"Lara?" A soft voice murmured.

I looked up, snapping out of my reverie. "Sam..." I sighed happily, immediately relaxing.

"Are you okay, Lara?" Sam asked, coming closer to me and putting a reassuring hand on my arm. Her eyes were filled with concern and I didn't like it. She was the one that was nearly sacrificed to the Sun Queen. Not me.

I brushed off her concern. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. How are you?"

"I am worried about you though, Lara. You suffered more than any of us. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

I could see genuine affection for me in Sam's smile. I opened my arms to her for a hug. She didn't think twice before rushing into my embrace, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Oh, Lara," She sighed. "I knew you'd save me."

It took me a moment to realise that she was crying. I didn't need to ask her why. I just kept my arms holding her and rubbed her back.

"Sam, don't cry," I murmured, "Else you're going to make me tear up too." I joked.

I felt her body rock as she laughed slightly. "That would be a first," She smiled as she pulled her head away from my shoulder to look at me. "You hardly cry."

"I'm so heartless," I smiled, removing my hand from her back to wipe a tear from her face. "Come on, let's get cleaned up." I took her hand, lacing our fingers together and led her down to the double cabin we'd been assigned too. We were assigned separate cabins until Sam declared that she had to be with me. I smiled, a surge of admiration for Sam welling in my heart. I gave her hand a quick squeeze and she smiled at me.

God, even after everything, my best friend was still beautiful.

We walked into the cabin and I sat her down on one of the two beds, still holding her hand. We both didn't move for awhile, deep in thought. It was nice like this. Not having to worry that some demons or crazed cult men were about to try to murder me or kidnap Sam. It was nice to hold her hand and to know she wasn't going anywhere – that she was still my Sam.

"Come on," I said eventually pulling her up and leading her to the en suite bathroom leading off from our cabin. "Get cleaned up. I'm going to go to the infirmary to get these wounds checked out."

"Don't go..." Sam muttered, reaching for my hand again. It wrenched at my heart.

"Sam..." I was so tempted to grab her hand, curl up and not move for a week. But my stomach wound was really painful, probably infected. Given that I was stuck on an island with a crazy Sun Queen and a fucked up cult; I didn't cauterize it properly. Disinfectant wasn't handy, and I was wading through shit half the time. So I think the visit was necessary. Also, I had many cuts, scars and bruises all over my body. It'd looked like I'd been thrown around like a ragdoll for days, and come to think of it, I was.

"Sam, I need to get these wounds checked out. I'll be back soon, I promise." I murmured, touching her out-stretched hand slightly before pulling away. I managed to give her a reassuring smile; though I'm not sure that it was convincing.

"At least let me come with you," She said, reaching down and grabbing my hand again. "I don't want to be alone."

That broke me. I loved Sam too much. I sighed but smiled. "Fine, come on then."

I led her down to the infirmary with me. There was a lot of medical assistants on board, given that we'd been sent a rescue ship after being stranded on the PT boat for days.

We walked in and saw that there was a doctor already tending to Reyes' arm; he turned around when we approached. He took one look at me, his eyes travelling down to my scarred arms and wrecked clothes.

"Well, I've got my work cut out for me with you," He said, but smiled so I knew he wasn't being callous. "Take a seat over there." He pointed to a medical bed a few beds down from Reyes'.

"And how about you?" He asked, gesturing to Sam who was still clutching my hand. "You don't look too beat but I'll give you a check over."

She nodded to him. And we both acknowledged Reyes before making our way to my assigned bed. I slouched on it, glad that I was lying on a soft bed – even a hospital one – and not the rocky floors that I had grown used too.

Sam sat on the edge of the bed, playing with the covers. She was being really quiet, but I didn't want to ask her about it, being what she had been through. _What we had all been through._

I closed my eyes for awhile before I heard a gentle cough. I reluctantly opened my dreary eyes to see the doctor standing over me and Sam giving me a concerned look.

I sat up as the doctor dressed my wounds. I was sitting here in my just my bra and knickers as he examined the extent of my injuries; I couldn't care less that I was half naked now though. He was shocked to see the severity my stomach wound.

"How on earth did you get this to close up?"

I shrugged my shoulders; staring at the ugly, swollen scar that had formed. It definitely looked infected. "I cauterized it, or tried too, with a burning arrow." I admitted.

"That must have taken some guts." He muttered as he looked at me with deep respect.

"I did what I had too, to survive." I replied simply. Sam was staring at me with nothing but admiration. It made me blush as I was only in my underwear. It suddenly bothered me now. She must have noticed because she looked away. I could have sworn she was smiling.

"Okay, this is going to hurt a little." The doctor said, dousing my wound with disinfectant. It hurt but I managed not to flinch. I then felt gentle pulling on my wound as he was sewing it shut properly. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, so I was absentmindedly twisting my necklace in my fingers, not really bothered. I noticed Sam staring at me in complete awe again.

"Sam," I laughed, "I can assure you that I'm not as fascinating as you seem to think I am."

She smiled, "Sweetie, you're like Wonder Woman. You're so brave; you're not phased in the slightest."

I shrugged my shoulders, laughing at her. "I'm a tough cookie."

When the doctor had finished patching me up, he gave me some antibiotics to take over the next week. "Here," he said, passing them to Sam, "maybe your friend can help you to take them. Oh, and you'll need to change the dressing everyday."

"I'll help her," She volunteered, "It's the least I can do." She added.

As soon as the doctor checked over Sam – who only had a few cuts and bruises – we were allowed to go back to our cabin. Sam was the one leading me this time. The doctor had bothered my wounds so they were a little more tender than before. She sat me down on my bed and helped me to undress again.

"I'm so tired..." I moaned, it felt like I hadn't slept in weeks.

"Tough, sweetie, you need to wash; and then I need to dress your wound again." She pulled my trousers down and my top up and over my head. Even though she'd seen me naked before, I couldn't help but get embarrassed again. Before I could dwell on it too much though, she gently pulled me into the bathroom and gave me towels. "Can you manage?" She asked. I nodded.

I peeled the dressing off my wounds, annoyed that the doctor had only just put them on, and stepped in the shower. I let the warm water cascade over me. It felt like months since I'd had the pleasure of warm water and washing. I rubbed my fingers into my hair, working the dirt out. My wounds stung all over my body against the hot water. I tried not to let it bother me and continued washing as best I could given the state that I'm in.

When I got out, Sam went in while I dried and shoved the complimentary pyjamas on that were resting on my pillow. They were a little too tight and underwear wasn't provided for me. Wow. I couldn't wait until we docked in Japan and we could buy clothes; since ours were on the bottom of the sea somewhere along with the S. . When Sam came out, her skin was glistening wet. She walked over to her bed, which was across from mine, and picked up the complimentary pyjamas; one eyebrow raised.

"What are _these_?" She asked, seemingly disgusted at their taste of 'fashion.'

"Our clothes for the night," I laughed at her expression. "Just put them on."

She sighed, drying herself a little before dropping her towel. It wasn't like I'd never seen her naked before, because I had - on numerous occasions - but right now I found myself staring at her milky skin. She was very attractive; her curves were in all the right places and she was very beautiful, even after what had happened on Yamatai. She must have noticed me staring because she turned around, giving me a full view of her breasts – I might add - and smiling at me.

"Found anything you like?" She joked, rolling her eyes at me. I knew she was only joking but I felt my cheeks flood red. I looked away and climbed into my bed, sighing with exhaustion, and hoping it'd calm my blushing cheeks before she noticed.

When Sam was dressed she walked over to me and stood awkwardly at the foot of my bed, she was clearly considering something. I knew her too well.

"What's up, Sam?" I asked, opening my eyes to peer at her.

She didn't answer me straight away, but rather, started shifting her weight from foot to foot. She ignored my question and seemed to find an answer to her own internal thoughts as she, then, very gently, opened the covers and crawled onto my bed; curling up next to my side. I wrapped my arm around her and leant my chin on her head.

"Oh, Sam," I laughed. "You could have just asked."

She pulled herself closer to me, being careful of my wounds, snuggling in the crook of my neck. She sighed, with what I presumed, was happiness.

It felt good to be with Sam, whom I'd risked my own life to save. Our friendship had a new meaning now. She wasn't just my best friend anymore; she was the woman I would do anything for. _I love you, Sam._I could smell the shampoo in her freshly washed hair. _My Sam._


	2. Chapter 2 - The Closest Thing to Home

___Caught in the Aftershock - Chapter 2 – The Closest Thing to Home_

_**By LaurenCroft who needs to stop writing so much and do her Psychology work. :/ P.S: Thanks for the lovely reviews and all the follows, gives me the motivation to write. Warning: vulgar language.**_

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I awoke; the sunlight streaming through the porthole and waking me up. Somehow the blanket had been thrown off the bed during the night. Sam was still squashed next to me on the tiny bed, she had a fistful of my pyjamas and it made me smile. She was so beautiful - I noticed myself finding more of an admiration for her beauty that I hadn't had before. She was lying on my chest, her ankle tucked over my leg. The feel of her body on mine was comforting. I started absentmindedly playing with her hair.

I liked it like this. Just silence. Just us and nobody else. I took this time to embrace the peace I hadn't had the fortune to indulge in for weeks. The whole Yamatai ordeal felt like a distant nightmare that I'd hope I'd never have to relive again. It took so many lives; ruined others and nearly lost me my Sam.

As if she heard every word of my internal monologue, she stirred. I stopped playing with her hair, worried that I'd woke her up.

"It's okay." She muttered. I couldn't help smile at the sound of her voice. I went back to stroking her hair.

"Morning," I smiled, "Sleep well?"

"Soundly," She said, lifting her head off my chest to look at me, smiling. "I'm aching all over though." She lifted her arm, testing how it felt, and winced.

Come to think of it, I'm aching too. I didn't notice it before – too wrapped in my thoughts. My whole body felt like a dead weight now that I tried to lift a leg. Shit. This isn't going to be fun.

"Lara!" Sam gasped, shock evident in her voice.

I immediately expected the worst. "What?! Are you hurt?" I ran my eyes quickly over her body but I couldn't see anything.

"Not me. You." She said with a worried tone, gesturing to my stomach.

"Wha- oh!" I saw that there was blood on my pyjamas where my stomach wound was. Oh shit. This doesn't look good.

"Shit, Lara. I forgot to dress your wound last night!" Her eyes darted from my bloodied patch and quickly to my eyes. She looked like she was about to start crying.

"Sam, Sam!" I said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," She muttered, "I was given one job - to look after you - and I fucked it up." She sighed.

I tried to sit up and winced as I did so. _Damn it_. It hurt. Sam gave me an apprehensive stare. She looked like she was about to start crying again.

"Sam..." I muttered, giving her a look. "Stop being silly; it's not your fault."

I hauled myself off the bed and hissed as the pain almost rendered me immobile for a moment. I went to take off my pyjamas, but couldn't. The shirt was stuck to my wound, the dried blood acting as a fucked up form of glue.

"_Shit_. Sam, the shirt is stuck to my wound." I looked over to her, she was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and she gave me a horrified stare. I gave her a _'don't you start this again'_ look. It's ridiculous that she's blaming herself for this. It's my wound; she wasn't the only one to remember to re-dress it.

I grabbed the bottom of the shirt, getting ready to pull it up; and quickly. _Here goes nothing. _I didn't look at Sam; I couldn't bear to see the look on her face.

I took a deep breath. 1, 2, 3... I pulled, and then I cried out. It felt like I'd re-pierced it. "SHIT! Ah, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fucking hell!" I was clutching where the pain radiated from; I could already feel a sticky substance on my fingers which I knew to be blood. My eyes were watering as I removed my hand to look at it.

Shit. It looked awful, better than it ever did on the island, but it didn't look healthy. I looked at Sam. Her eyes were watering.

"Hey," I murmured, forgetting my pain and pulling her off the bed and into a hug. "I'm the one that should be crying." She laughed slightly, snuggling into my shoulder.

We stayed like that for awhile, until my pain wanted to make itself known again. It had bled a little more now and it'd gone onto Sam's pyjamas. I looked at us, both covered in blood.

"It looks like there's been a mini slaughter in here," I laughed. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. I took her hand. "Hey, come on, help me dress my wound and it won't be so bad."

She nodded and I pulled my shirt off as she fetched the supplies from her bag. She knelt before me, being oddly quiet, and I watched as she cleaned my wound. It stung a little but I tried to ignore it. I bet she still thought it was her fault. Silly Sam. I ruffled her hair and she looked up at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

I felt oddly conscious standing in my bra in front of her again; which was really strange. We'd been best friends for years; why had I started to care now?

When she had done, she stepped back to admire her handy work. She seemed pleased, and I suddenly felt more conscious of my bare body and her staring gaze. I made a mental note to slap myself. _Stop being so weird, Lara._

After we had gotten dressed into more shoddy provided clothes – I had to literally force Sam into them – we had docked in Japan. I don't think I've ever seen Sam so happy to be back here. I must admit, it was like a miracle; that we were back here, with civilisation, alive and breathing.

Luckily, the crew on the ship had arranged passports for us to be allowed into the country, since ours were not handy to us at the present time.

When we walked onto the harbour, it was buzzing with life. I wanted to enjoy this time before we all got famous for discovering Yamatai; though, I'm not sure it was worth discovering. It was an ancient archaeological marvel, yes. But it was also the home of cold bloodied nightmares. My friends were murdered; my best friend nearly had the soul sucked out of her - I'm not sure it was something to celebrate.

Most people didn't know who I was yet, so we were allowed to move around the harbour freely, though none of us wanted to stay for long. I'm sure the word was going to get out that we had arrived soon enough, and we were all far too beaten to cope with it. Reyes was going to go back to America, to her daughter, and Jonah was going back to New Zealand to work as a chef in his sister's café in Ngapuhi.

"Jonah," I started, "I'm sad to see you go, take care."

He pulled me into a bear hug. "Goodbye, my Little Bird." Jonah may have looked tough, but he was such a sensitive man.

Next, I bid farewell to Reyes. Even though we had our problems, I think she finally trusted and respected me when I got our asses out of that place.

"How's your arm?" I said, gesturing to her bandage.

"Better," she hesitated. "Look, Lara. I'm about to go back to see Alisha, and I don't know if I should tell her about Roth?" Her eyes were deep, vulnerable; unlike Reyes' usual hardy cover. I felt my heart wrench. _Roth._

"I think you should tell her," I said simply, "she deserves to know who her father is; and she also deserves to know what a great man he was. Tell her that he was a warrior, and that he died as one."

Reyes looked close to tears, and so was I. Sam and Jonah seemed to sense our melancholy since I felt a gentle hand on my arm. _Sam._

"Are you guys okay?" She asked, looking at me. I looked from Reyes' woe expression and felt my own despair inside. We may be alive and breathing, but we lost so much to make it here; nearly everything we hold dear. I couldn't bring myself to answer her.

"We made it," Jonah interjected, "we escaped; we're alive, against all odds."

"Thanks to Lara," Reyes said, her gaze still pointed down. That was oddly sensitive of her. I reached out and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me, though I couldn't think of anything to say. Before I could though, Jonah pulled us all into a bear hug. I smiled feeling Sam at my side. We may have lost some, but we didn't lose all.

After Jonah and Reyes departed, Sam called a cab. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long and we got in before Sam directed the driver to take us to a nearby hotel. It was cute to see her speaking Japanese, though I didn't understand much. I reached over and took her hand as the car sped through the city. I leant my head back and closed my eyes. My mind was buzzing. I must have nearly fallen asleep because Sam prodded me when we pulled up.

"Come on, sweetie," Sam said as she took my hand again to lead me into the hotel; my stomach wound was still bothering me and I was a dead weight.

After we checked in using Sam's credit card – which got given to her the same time as our passports – and ascended many tedious stairs, we busted open the door to our room. I was pleasantly surprised at how cosy it was. It was a studio; with a huge fluffy double bed to the left – guess we were sharing again - adjacent to a balcony which opened to the Japanese city. There was also a door, which was what I presumed was the door to the bathroom. There was also a sofa, TV and kitchen area off to the right. _Ah, electricity, food and soft beds. _I'd never been so happy to see a hotel room; it was the closest thing to home we'd come across since Yamatai.

I let go of Sam's hand and walked right up and flopped face-first onto the bed, sighing. Even after all the sleeping I'd had on the ship; I was still so tired. My body craved sleep, just as my muscles craved relaxation.

"I'm not moving for weeks," I declared, my voice muffled against the duvet.

I felt a hand on my back and I pleasantly shuddered, realising it was Sam. _What the hell, Lara?! _I didn't think she noticed; or at least I hope she didn't. I felt the bed dip when she sat. "Oh, sweetie, I was hoping that we could go shopping..."

My head snapped up and I raised an eyebrow. "What? Oh Sam, I know you love shopping but I'm in no physical state to walk around a shopping centre for god knows how long." I sighed, putting my head back down face-first on the duvet.

"I don't want to stay in these clothes much longer," she sighed. _Oh, Sam_. I laughed. "Also, I want to get another camera; but, I'll go by myself."

"Sam..." I didn't want her leaving my sight, not after Yamatai.

"I'll be fine, Lara. Plus, I'll treat you to a little something too," I didn't need to look up to know that she had a cheeky smile on her face. It affected me a little differently now though. _Oh God_.

"I need to buy a phone and call my dad too," she continued, "let him know what happened and that I'm okay. I'm not sure he would have even noticed if it wasn't plastered on the news though." She sighed. She didn't have a good relationship with her father, it was a little like mine; before he died. That's how we connected so much. We both felt a little out of place and fed off each other's thirst for adventure.

"So, I'll be back soon!" She said, abruptly getting up off the bed. She tapped my arm and I sat up to give her a hug. I pulled her closer to me.

"Stay safe. Be careful." I muttered.

It felt like she took a part of me with her as soon as she left. My mind was buzzing now that I was alone. So, this was it. We'd escaped, we were docked and we were safe. I almost couldn't believe it. I couldn't wait to get back to England; Sam and I shared an apartment that we had while we were at Uni. I wanted to be somewhere familiar, but anywhere was better than Yamatai.

I wasn't looking forward to all the press attention I was going to get though, as soon as I'm recovered enough to give an interview they would be on my back. Thank god they don't know what we look like yet. Though, I'm sure Sam's father would sort that out for us; keeping the press off our backs. The whole Nishimura family was involved in the media somehow, Sam wasn't rich by chance.

_Sam. What was I thinking? _I couldn't ignore the fact that I was appreciating her in ways that I never had before. It was making me uncomfortable. I wasn't _attracted_ to her was I? No. Of course not. She was Sam, just dopey Sam. My best friend. God. And she wasn't gay, and neither was I. She wouldn't be interested in me anyway. I'm her best friend, not her lesbian lover. It's wrong. I'm being stupid. I sighed and put a hand over my eyes. I need sleep. My mind is stuffed with wool; I don't know what I'm saying.

I sighed, getting up to get a drink. I hadn't eaten properly since Yamatai; but I wasn't hungry. I sat down while I drank some water, running a hand through my hair. I was so fed up. We'd lost so many. The Endurance crew was part of my family. Roth was my mentor, Alex; my friend... I even spent many of my teen years on the Endurance and I'd lost that too. I'd lost a lot, so fast and in such a brutal way. It was more than anyone could handle, even me.

I didn't know who I was either. One day, I'm just an aspiring archaeologist on my first expedition, and then suddenly I've killed hundreds of men, watched my friends die and starting fancying my fucking long-term best friend; Sam, of all people. _God, this is awful. _

I sighed again, putting the glass down before walking towards the bed and yanking my clothes off, discarding them on the floor. I climbed in naked since they still hadn't provided us with underwear back at the ship. Oh well. Sam would have something for me, I'm sure. I wondered how long she'd be. I'm going crazy trapped with my thoughts for company.

I must have fallen asleep, because I awoke when I felt gentle fingers prodding my arm.

"Wake up, sweetie_." That voice. _

"Sam!" I yelled, sitting up with dreary eyes and yanking her into a hug. I temporarily forgot my underwear predicament, given my excitement and surprise.

"Lara! I've brought you loads of clothes; underwear too, which is a good job because you clearly don't have any." Sam laughed_. Shit._ I briskly pulled away, pulling the duvet up and over my body. Sam raised an eyebrow. "Lara, I've been you naked a million times," She laughed, not taking it to heart. _Oh, Sam._ _If only you knew._ "So, I've brought you and me a ton of things, I can't wait to show you." She seemed so excited.

I rubbed my eyes free of sleep to get a better view. I nearly wished I hadn't because there were bags everywhere. I stared in awe. "Sam! Have you brought a whole shop's worth of stock? How did you even carry these?"

"Well, we _both _don't have many clothes; and I paid some guy to help me carry all these." She smiled her cheeky smile, my heart stuttered. I ignored it.

"Oh, Sam!" I laughed, "Even just after we survive all of Yamatai, you still freak out over clothes."

She smiled. "And not just clothes, I brought a new camera too. I can't wait to record on it."

I laughed at her. I was amazed at how she still remained her fashion forward, money obsessed shopper and camera-lover, even after the events on Yamatai. She remained herself; something that I had been unable to do. I'd changed: my personality had changed, my view on life had changed, my body had changed and my feelings for Sam were changing - _This one worried me the most._


	3. Chapter 3 - Back Home

_Caught in the Aftershock – Chapter 3 – Back Home_

_**By LaurenCroft – again, thanks for the reviews. **__** I also have decided to put characters from previous Tomb Raider games in the storyline, if doesn't matter if you haven't played the older games, so don't worry about it.**_

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I was running, but not from someone, to someone. I was desperately stumbling through a forest, the branches trying to grab me. The rain stung my eyes, impairing my vision. It hammered all around me. I was shouting for someone, pleading for them. I saw a flash of a brown bob through the trees. _Sam. _She was being dragged away by a Solarii gang member.

I screamed out her name, thrashing through the trees. My lungs were gasping and my muscles aching. I couldn't let them take her again. I'm not losing anymore of my friends; especially not Sam. My breathing grew ragged, I didn't stop.

"SAM!" I screamed, realising I was crying now.

_No .No. No. Not Sam._ _Not again. I can't deal with this anymore... There's no escaping this place._

"Dare mo nokosanai!" _No one leaves..._

"Lara!" Someone shook my arm. "Lara! Please stop! You're scaring me."

I opened my eyes and before they focused, I could see Sam being dragged away from me, over and over...

"Lara, sweetie," It took me a moment to realise that I wasn't on Yamatai; that it was all just a nightmare. I was safe, and so was Sam.

_It felt so real..._

"Sam..." I murmured. Her face swam into view. She looked more beautiful than ever.

"I'm here," She whispered, taking my hand and lacing our fingers together. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah; I'm fine." I said; my voice shaky. I sat up and rubbed my eyes clear. The mental image of Sam being dragged away from me remained though; forever burned into my retinas.

"Lara... You were screaming in your sleep, kicking out. Tomorrow I'm going to have bruises." She smiled at me, though I could see her concern for me in her eyes. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I nodded, "Oh, Sam, it was awful," I muttered; releasing her hand to pull her into a hug. "I thought I lost you again." The image of her being dragged away flashed into my mind and I pulled her closer. We stayed like that for awhile, enjoying the comfort of her body on mine, before she spoke.

"Lara, I promise I'm not going anywhere," She pulled away, and looked into my eyes. It helped to cure my unease. "You woke me up, but a good job though; our plane leaves in a few hours."

Yesterday, after her vast shopping spree, she booked us a flight back to England. Under normal circumstances, we would have enjoyed a few days here before going back home; but now wasn't really the time.

I checked the time on the iPhone that Sam had brought for me. It was just past 8am and our plane was leaving at 11. I was still so tired though; I hadn't slept properly for weeks. I can promise you that there were no soft, comfy beds on Yamatai. I was already starting to hallucinate; it's a good thing that we escaped when we did. I doubt I could have lasted much longer. I felt like I could easily sleep for another day now. My body needed it; it had my mind to heal was well as my wounds.

My stomach wound looked much better when Sam – who eventually dragged me out of bed - peeled off the dressing. It still had a long way to go though, but I quite liked the idea of having scars; my battle wounds. It showed I survived.

I couldn't help but focus on Sam's fingers gently grazing my stomach when she rubbing the disinfectant on. It felt nice, and it didn't help that Sam was wearing dinky little shorts and vest top that she brought yesterday. It showed off a lot of her milky skin. She was more than beautiful; _she was sexy._

Oh, Christ. I need to stop this. She's my _best friend_! What is wrong with me?! This isn't right.

"Are you okay, Lara," Sam asked, gazing intently at me from down on her knees; she was just putting a clean dressing back on. I could see her soft breasts every time I looked down. I couldn't help the dirty thoughts that ran through my mind. _Oh god._

"Yeah," I lied, putting a hand over my eyes. "I'm just still really tired; I'm not thinking straight." She gave me concerned look and went back to applying the dressing. I got goose bumps from her touch. I _prayed_ she just thought I was cold.

If she knew the way I felt about her now; I think she'd run a mile. Her own best friend, who is also a female, is now suddenly seeing her in a different light. She's Sam, for god's sake! My Sam! _What am I doing?! _Sam had always been my best friend; always felt like my sister – not my _lover._ I think nearly losing someone makes feelings come to the surface that you didn't realise you had.

"Done!" She beamed, admiring her, now 'expert', skills in dressing a wound.

I smiled at her, dazed by her positivity and excitement even after what we'd went through.

"I've picked out the perfect outfit for you too," She smiled.

I was expecting her to get me what she considers _'stylish_,' which would be skinny jeans, feminine boots and a jacket that would probably cost more than a flat-screen television. However, I was pleasantly surprised when she pulled out a vest top, army-trousers and military style boots; just what I've always felt comfortable in.

"Sam, that's great," I smiled, "Thanks."

She brushed it off. "It's what best friend's are for." She winked and pulled her cheeky smile. I ignored my pounding heart.

When we were both showered and dressed - Sam in what I could already tell was clothes that cost more than our apartment in London - we had some breakfast. It felt odd to be sitting here and eating cereal; like we were living a normal life and hadn't just got back from being trapped on an island; almost dying on numerous occasions.

"Ready?" Sam asked me as she collected my dish and put it in the sink.

"Yeah, I think I have everything. Well, everything you brought me." I wasn't too bothered about what I'd lost on the Endurance; it was only a few clothes, my iPod and some other small things. Nothing that I couldn't replace; I'd left all those at home.

Most of my expensive possessions and money came from my father. After both my parents disappeared; the manor was presumably left in my name, but I didn't want to live in it. It was all the way in Surrey; and it held too many memories for me. I didn't like touching the money that was left either, unlike Sam, I felt better buying things with money I'd earned myself – even if it meant working at the Nine Bells. She occasionally nagged me about not spending the money that was just lying there, but I liked to find my own way in this world, and maybe one day, my parents might come back... I don't like relying on anyone either.

I say that, but I know I couldn't function without Sam.

"I think I'm done," she said, sitting on the pink suitcase she brought for herself yesterday and zipping it up. She brought me a blue one, thank god.

I picked up my suitcase, my muscles aching slightly; they were still tender, and probably would be for a few more days. Sam followed suit, picking up her own pink suitcase. I rolled my eyes at her colour choice and she stuck her tongue out and smiled at me.

We descended the staircase, slowly to say the least.

"Oh my," Sam sighed, "Yamatai really takes it out of you."

"I did all the saving," I laughed, trying not to be so serious about it. It didn't seem so scary if you joked about things.

"That's right..." She mused, "You did." She looked at me and smiled, brushing her hand against mine before continuing down to the reception desk. We handed in our key and Sam called a cab to take us to the airport. We still had about an hour before our flight.

It had only been a few days since Yamatai; my mind and body were all over the place. I don't think I could wait another day before I went home, needing somewhere familiar to be, so I'm glad that we were going back to England so soon.

Roughly an hour and half later, after we settled into first class, the plane had taken off. Sam looked so exhausted; just how I felt. I just wanted to pull her close to me and comfort her. I reclined my seat back, ready to relax, when Sam crawled from her own seat, on to my lap. The seat was big enough, so I wasn't complaining.

She was allowing me to hold her, which is exactly what I wanted to do. Her right leg was wedged beside my left and her left leg she rested over my lap. Her head was on my shoulder and I rested my head on hers. I wrapped my arms around her and sighed in happiness. I loved her so much. _My Sam._

I was determined to make these homosexual feelings for my best friend stop. I don't believe that being gay is a choice; for me at least. I didn't want to be gay; I don't even know if I am. I just know that I don't want to fancy Sam. She _is_ beautiful, and she's a wonderful person who I love so much. But I don't want to make this awkward for her; for us. She's not gay and she'll never want me; I understand. I'm her friend, not her lover. It isn't right for us to ever be like that with each other.

No matter how much I want it right now.

She sighed and nuzzled into my shoulder. Before, I would have cuddled her, like she's my sister. But now, with her body pressed up against mine, I felt something more. Well, I'd just have to ignore it. I don't want this, so why is my body making it so?

I cuddled her closer to me, repressing any inappropriate feelings, and just tried to clear my mind so I could try and get some sleep. Sam's body became heavier on my own and her breathing deepened. I think she was asleep. I didn't want to check in case I woke her. I removed a hand from her back to stroke her hair before leaning back and closing my eyes. Sam's body was radiating warmth and serenity.

I must have been dozing; because a gentle cough made me open my eyes.

"Excuse me," The air hostess was standing quietly by Sam's empty seat. "Would you and your girlfriend like a blanket?"

_Girlfriend._

"Yes, please." I asked, still stunned by how much we must have looked gay. Hasn't anyone seen best friends cuddling before? I may have had some gay feelings towards Sam, but she didn't have any for me. It wasn't like we were making out.

The air hostess passed us a blue fluffy fleece and I draped it over me and Sam before I lay back down, closing my eyes. I was nearly asleep again when Sam stirred. She shifted slightly, moving her head from my shoulder to my breasts, presumably to get more comfortable. _Christ._

There was no denying; breasts, being made of soft tissue, were more comfy than a bony shoulder. But it didn't help me ignore these very new and inappropriate feelings.

Eventually, I got used to it and finally I was able to sleep.

* * *

"Sam!" I nudged her. After we switched planes, and 12 hours later, we landed in England. She fell asleep on me again, and, to my surprise, I was able to keep my head clear of all that nonsense.

"Lara?" Her sweet voice... "Are we there yet?"

"Yeah, Sam," I said softly, helping her off me.

She stretched, yawning at the same time. The sight reminded me of a kitten. She was adorable. "I feel much better now," she said, "thanks for letting me use you as a pillow."

"No problem," I said, smiling. I felt a lot better now too. I'd slept hours since Yamatai, but god, I needed it. I was still achy, and a few of my wounds were bothering me, but I was better.

"Hey, Sam," I said, laughing as we made our way off the plane. "The air hostess on our last plane thought we were together."

Her eyes went wide and she laughed. "Like, together _together_?"

"She thought we were a lesbian couple." I stated, smiling.

"Oh well," she laughed, "you _are_ my girlfriend aren't you, Lara?" she smiled, taking my hand and rolling her eyes.

My heart stuttered, though I knew she was only joking. Sam was always the sort that didn't care about what anyone said, and when they did say things, she always felt the need to play on it. A part of me hoped she would say that, and mean it, one day.

_No. No. No. _I sighed, feeling super frustrated with myself. _Stop thinking stupid things like that, Lara._

"Lara? Are you okay?" Sam asked, concern in her eyes.

"Yeah... Fine," I was _not_ fine. These feelings were overwhelming me. They felt wrong; I was battling myself to keep these feelings at bay.

She said nothing, clearly sensing I was lying, but not wanting to comment on it yet. She took my hand again, leading us to go get our suitcases. I sensed she was going to interrogate me later; though I could never tell her. When I usually have a problem, I tell my best friend, but my best friend is part of the problem.

It seemed a little ridiculous, that I just went through literal hell; got trapped on an island, nearly got murdered, watched my friends die and nearly saw Sam get burned alive... And I worry about being attracted to my best friend.

It seemed so fucked up; but losing Sam to the Sun Queen terrified me. I could just as easily lose her by telling her how I feel.

_Even though I'd slept for hours and hours, my mind was spinning._

While we were getting our suitcases off the conveyor belt, Sam shot me a concerned glance. I ignored it. These feelings troubled me enough, I would not let them trouble Sam or ruin our friendship; so I stayed quiet, clutching my suitcase while Sam called for a cab.

We walked outside; it was morning in England and the crisp, cold November air whipped my face. I would have usually been happy to be back in England, especially after Yamatai, but my thoughts troubled me too much.

Sam stood next to me while we waited and silently took my hand again. We were quiet for awhile before she spoke.

"Lara, I'm not stupid. Something is troubling you, and I can see it in your eyes. You're repeatedly frowning and the look on your face tells me you're seriously bothered by something? You can tell me, Lara."

I sighed, "Sam, it's nothing, I promise."

She looked like she was about to continue but the taxi pulled up. We put our suitcases on the boot and got in the car. We told the driver our address and Sam didn't bother continuing whatever she was going to say. I internally sighed with relief.

When we pulled up, a sense of nostalgia hit home, literally. Alex, Zip, Alister and Amanda – our university friends – all used to hang out here; it felt like 10 years ago. I had a huge pang in my chest for Alex. He didn't deserve to die. I felt tears coming to my eyes before I furiously blinked them away. Sam seemed oddly quiet too. We pulled our suitcases out, paying the driver and going into our apartment for the first time since Yamatai. The spare key was still it the plant pot; thank god.

We unlocked the door and walked in. I stared around; it all seemed so untouched, just how we left it. What else could I expect?

I'd left here a young girl, and returned a hardened survivor. But that wasn't the only thing that I returned with; there was a ton of emotions and baggage. I was wrecked on the inside just as much as on the outside. I'd seen things that you wouldn't even dream of seeing. I'd experienced things that scarred me for life; changed me. The scars on the inside wouldn't be so easy to heal.

I dumped my suitcase on the living room floor and pushed open the door to my bedroom. I stared straight into the mirror; hardly recognising myself. My hair was longer, messier. My face was skinner, less rounded. I also had cuts on my face; it made me look hardy. The thing that bothered me the most though, was the look in my eyes...

_They were no longer the eyes of an inexperienced, young girl. They were the eyes of a hardened woman, who had seen and felt things that you couldn't even conceive of in your darkest vision of hell. _


	4. Chapter 4 - Raising a Glass

_Caught in the Aftershock – Chapter 4 – Raising a Glass_

**By LaurenCroft who really appreciates a good review.**

* * *

"Lara?" I heard Sam's voice from the living room.

I ripped my gaze from the mirror. "Yeah?" I managed to answer, still in utter shock from my change of appearance.

"Yamatai is on TV."

"What?" I said, now completely distracted, walking back into the living room.

The news was blaring from the TV in the corner. They were showing pictures of us and the rescue boat. _'The daring discoverers of Yamatai,' _was running across the bottom of the screen. I_ hated_ how they were going to glorify us. It wasn't anything to celebrate; not for any of us at least. People _died. _Our friends.

"I don't like this," I said, crossing my arms.

Sam glanced at me. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure my dad won't let them print trash about us. And just think, we'll be famous." She smiled, raising her eyebrows.

"If you want to be stalked every day for discovering a fucked up death trap, then that's fine." I stated, it sounded a bit sharp, so I rolled my eyes to show I wasn't being so serious.

She smiled and walked over to me. She didn't look into my eyes, however, but stared down my arms. Her eyes widened.

"Wow. I never actually noticed how many scars you have." Her voice sounded forlorn. I felt her finger trace down one of them; I repressed a shudder, but my heart sped up.

Some of my scars were deep, and still sore, but most were weeks old. Only now that Sam had pointed it out, I felt really self conscious about it. It wasn't just my arms either; it was all over my body. I mean, I _liked_ that I had my 'battle wounds', but I knew I would be stared at. And of course, now with our faces being plastered all over the news, we were bound to get more attention. People were going to make comments.

"Urgh," I ran my hands up my arms, knocking Sam's hand away in the process, and rubbed them; maybe hoping the scars wouldn't appear so prominent.

Sam seemed to know what I was thinking. "Lara, they're fine. They're gruesome but amazing, I mean _wow. _They look so badass; I would _love_ to get a close up of these on film._ 'Lara, the survivor; made it out alive, but not without a fight.'_"

"No way!" I said, but laughed at Sam's 'camera voice.' "I'm not giving people more of an opportunity to stare at me; if you ever publish that."

She rolled her eyes. "I have no job at the moment, so I have no need to publish it. I would love to get you on film though, Lara. You deserve so much credit and you're so_ badass_."

"Again, Sam, I'm not as fascinating as you seem to think I am."

"No, Lara. _You _don't realise how fascinating you are; how fucking _amazing."_

I rolled my eyes at her, but I was touched by her compliment. I didn't feel particularly 'badass'; I just did what I had too.

"Hey, should we invite over our old university friends? I'm sure they're worried; or desperate to know what happened. I know I would be, if I were in their shoes." Sam asked, seemingly perking up a little. She loved being around people.

"It's not that exciting," I said, still bitter that people get excited over such a horrific thing. "But yeah, okay, it sounds good."

Sam raised an eyebrow at me. "You don't look too happy."

I wasn't aware that I was frowning until I straightened my expression. "Well, we did just lose our friends, nearly lost each other and our own lives! Not to mention the shit I went through to get us as far away from that hell hole as possible! It's hard to recover from."

The news was blaring about how it was an anthropological marvel that we discovered Yamatai. If they wanted to research how people brutally murdered others, then Yamatai is the perfect place to study that human behaviour.

I felt so angry that I grabbed the TV remote and turned it off, sighing and running a hand through my hair.

"Lara, I'm sor-" Sam started, as her eyes softened. I immediately felt bad for snapping.

"_I'm _sorry, Sam. I'm just trying to deal with this, all of it. The pain, the loss. It's so hard for me." I could feel tears welling in my eyes. Ever since Yamatai I've either been sleeping, travelling or doing something that kept my mind of it. And now that I'm free to think; everything was overwhelming.

"Lara..." Sam's voice was soft.

"I'm fine, Sam. I'm sorry. Yeah, just invite everyone over. I could use the distraction."

She looked like she was about to say something, but didn't. Instead she came over to me, gently wrapping her arms around me. I sighed and relaxed into her body.

"I love you, Sam." I whispered, closing my eyes. She was my only family now. She was all I really had left.

She lifted her head from my shoulder, "That's the first time you've told me that for a while." She muttered. I couldn't read her expression.

I felt a little bad, but I'm not the type to show people. "You know I do." I replied as Sam put her head back on my shoulder.

"Yeah, it's still nice to hear it," She sighed, giving me one last squeeze before pulling away. "I'm going to call a Chinese takeaway and call all our friends over, okay?"

The thought of a takeaway nearly made me drool. It'd been so long since I ate something proper aside from cereal. Takeaway wasn't seen as 'proper' food by the aspiring chefs and food critics, but as far as I was concerned, it was better than eating deer.

I nodded to Sam, going to have a shower. I felt dirty from the long plane ride.

As I undressed, I was noticing more and more how my body looked beaten. Scars, cuts and bruises were _everywhere_; including quite a large one on my ankle from when it got caught in the bear trap. I winced at the ugly purple and yellow mark. I pulled the dressing on my stomach wound off, and it looked awful and it hurt like hell. I was so used to the pain though. I just hoped it wouldn't get re-infected.

I stared in the full-length mirror when I was completely naked. My body was a wreck. I couldn't wait for them to clear up a little so I would at least look semi-decent. Underneath all of that though, my muscle definition had increased a lot since before Yamatai. It was quite impressive. I mentally reminded myself to work out more to keep that up, before I hopped in the shower.

* * *

I was just tying my damp hair up when Sam walked into my bedroom with the disinfectant and antibiotics.

"Hey, you remembered." I smiled tying the last loop in my pony tail.

"Of course," She beamed, setting the things down on my bed. I obediently lifted my shirt up; preparing myself to ignore Sam's soft, grazing fingers on my skin as she applied the disinfectant.

"It looks better, you know," She stated, leaning over to get the bandages to dress the wound, "very badass."

I laughed. "Sam, you seem to think I'm some sort of goddess."

Sam made eye contact with me, pausing the dressing of my wound for a second. "Lara, you saved my life; on more than one occasion. I wouldn't be here without you. I would have Himiko's soul in me. You don't understand how much I owe you, how much I care for you. You _saved _me, though I knew you would."

The conversation had quickly turned serious and I didn't know what to say. I had a sudden urge to kiss her, which I batted away as quickly as it came. It disturbed me so much that I just gaped at her. Luckily, I didn't have to say anything, because Sam went back to dressing my wound. It didn't take long for her to finish; she was getting used to it now.

The door knocked and Sam jumped up to go and get it. I quickly got a drink of water and took my antibiotics before making my way into the living room.

I could hear the buzz of voices before I even saw any of them.

"Lara!" I knew that English accent. It was Alister Fletcher, who studied archaeology with me at University. He was so smart. His brown hair was long and sweeping, and his glasses and casual suit made him look extremely intelligent.

"Alister!" I replied, feeling my face break out into a smile.

He rushed over and pulled me into a hug, nearly lifting me off the floor. I always knew that Alister had a little crush on me, but I never really thought of him as anything other than a friend.

He pulled away, getting a good look at me. "Holy shit, Lara, you look so _different. _I'm not sure you're even the girl that I remember."

"I'm not sure I am either." I said simply.

He gave me a sympathetic smile, touching my arm before Zip interrupted us.

Zip was very talented at technology, and surprisingly an amazing chef. His trousers were hung low and his tank top was showing his dark skin and impressive muscle tone. "Wow, Lara, you look beat."

"Thanks, nice to see you too." I laughed.

"These scars..." He gasped, his gaze fixated on my arms. "Pretty awesome."

"Not how I got them," I muttered. He was going to say something, but luckily Amanda butted in before he had the chance.

"Lara!" Amanda greeted. She also studied archaeology with me, her American accent, white-blonde hair and stylish clothes made her look, what most people would consider, a stereotypical 'dumb blonde' but she was fiercely intelligent.

"Hello," I smiled, genuinely glad that I was seeing them all again.

After many remarks on my rugged appearance and a Chinese takeaway later, they finally asked me what had happened on our expedition to find Yamatai; which I presumed was what they had been dying to ask the whole night.

"So, what actually happened to you guys? You look really beat and it's all over the news about how you actually discovered Yamatai. That's amazing! So, why do you look like you've been to hell and back?" Zip raised an eyebrow, curiosity and concern both present in his expression.

"We have," I said simply, not meeting any of their gazes.

"What?" Alister gasped. Amanda's eyes also widened.

I looked at Sam; she looked rather subdued. I doubt she'd want to talk about it. I knew I had too. I had to tell somebody; maybe it'll help me get it off my chest.

"Yamatai, what most perceive as an archaeological marvel, is a fucking hell hole," I spat. "You remember Roth? He's dead, _murdered,_ trying to save my life. Alex; our fellow friend? He died trying to get our arses off that fucking island and being as brave as anything. Sam? She nearly got the soul sucked out of her by a messed up fucking queen. She's lucky to be here, she's lucky that I risked my life to save her at exactly the right moment." I could feel the anger, the hurt and the pain flowing out of me. They were all staring at me like I had grown another head.

"These scars," I continued gesturing to my bare arms. "These are not here by a simple trip to discover an ancient island. No. They're there because I was put through hell. I nearly died on numerous occasions fighting for my life, Sam's too; the whole Endurance crew, even. I lost my only family, my friends; and I nearly lost Sam. That's why I get pissed off when people act like it's a marvel. It's _not._ It tore me down; and I had to build myself back up with the scraps of life I had left. So, yeah, I've changed."

Everyone, even Sam, was gaping at me. No one knew what to say. I thought that getting it out would make me feel better, but it only made the memories, along with the feelings, resurface. It was awhile before anyone spoke.

Amanda broke the silence; there was both respect and shock in her eyes. "Lara, that's so fucked up. I have no doubt that you're telling the truth, though, those scars and that look in your eyes tell me everything I need to know."

I breathed a sigh of relief, someone believed me. I really didn't think they would, even though I kept the Solarii, Sun Queen and Stormguard to myself.

"She's telling the truth," Sam muttered. Her usual bubbly-self had vanished.

"We believe you, Lara," Alister stated, his voice low. "I didn't know Alex had died… We will have to raise a glass to him; everyone who died there. I could _feel_ your pain, Lara. I'm so sorry for what happened to you."

I echoed the words Roth had encouraged me with on Yamatai. "Don't be sorry, just make it count." I could feel the despair weighing in my heart, and the tears clouding my eyes. I furiously blinked them away. I don't cry; especially not in front of people.

"Enough of the sad-talk; let's have some alcohol." Sam said, perking up a little. She was right, we needed to loosen up. I'd told them what happened, it didn't mean that the depressing atmosphere had to linger.

Sam got the shot cups and poured all of us a shot. We gathered in a circle, each of us ready to take it together.

"For Roth, Alex, and Grim; hells to Whitman," Sam said, as we all drank together.

A while later, and everyone was enjoying themselves; it's amazing what alcohol can do. It makes you forget everything for a while; including the bad stuff. For them at least; I didn't drink much. My wounds were still recovering and I didn't want to do anything that I'd regret. Anyway, I'm not too into getting completely wasted like Sam, and she didn't have to bribe me today because we had company.

The alcohol certainly cured the heavy atmosphere, but it didn't cure my heavy heart. I'd watched everyone die; and they were my friends, my _family. _This would take time for me to fully get through this.

I was distracted from my thoughts when I noticed Zip eyeing up Sam. This, before, wouldn't have bothered me. But it did now. He grabbed her arse, and I felt a surge of jealousy before she batted him away, disgusted.

I know I shouldn't be bothered by it; Sam is allowed to have boyfriends. I don't care how much I want it to be me; it never will be. But she was _so _beautiful. I sighed putting my head in my hands. Why did I have to fancy Sam? Out of every single girl in the world it had to be her; _but a part of me wouldn't want anybody else._


	5. Chapter 5 - Cease Fire

_Caught in the aftershock – Chapter 5 – Cease Fire_

**By LaurenCroft. PLOT TWIST – This is rated an M but I'm warning you anyway; sex scene is coming up. It's not going to be explicit porn or anything like that, so don't let it scare you away.**

* * *

By the end of the night, I was on the verge of losing it. Everyone was hammered; Alister had passed out, Amanda was busy drawing a penis on his face and Sam had suddenly decided that she no longer minded Zip touching her arse. The jealousy and hurt I was feeling was overwhelming and I didn't know how to make it stop. I can't just stop loving Sam; I've always loved her but now I'm _in_ love with her. I _hated _myself for it.

No matter how hard I tried to bury my feelings and look at Sam as just my best friend again, I couldn't. It was like I was being slapped around the face by how attractive she was. I felt the urge to slap Zip away from her and replace myself by her side. I was craving to touch her, kiss her and just hold her. And not being able to do that, especially while watching someone else do it instead, was enough to drive me mad.

My heart caught in my throat when I watched Sam plant a firm kiss on Zip. They started making out _right in front of me_. I heard Sam _moan_ into the kiss, pulling Zip closer to her. My stomach dropped and for a moment, the whole world span in slow motion while I tried to pull myself together. I felt the pain stabbing at my chest, making it hard to breathe. I felt hot tears stinging my eyes; _I'd had enough._

I stood up and stumbled straight into my bedroom – everyone was too drunk to notice - and sat on my bed; and for the first time since Alex died, I cried.

I didn't just cry; I sobbed. All this _pain_, all this _loss_ was pouring out me with every tear that rolled down my face. I wasn't sad; I was _angry_. I was mad that Roth died, and that Grim and Alex died. It was like there was an empty hole in my life where they used to be. And I _watched_ them; I watched them all get slaughtered.

My chest was heavy with grief; I was angry that Sam_ kissed _Zip_, _and that she _liked_ it. It was enough to remind me, in the most brutal way possible, that I can never have her. She's not gay, and she certainly isn't going to want me, as her best friend, in a romantic way. I felt a hot tear roll down my cheek. _Sam, I'm so sorry that it had to be you. _

I wish I wasn't in love with her, I wish I just loved her as my best friend; like before. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. _Why does my body hate me so much? _I tried my best to keep my crying quiet, letting the pain just roll down my cheeks instead, but someone must have heard me because there was a stream of light as my bedroom door opened. I abruptly covered my mouth with my hand in an attempt to muffle any sobbing and wiped my eyes furiously.

"It's only me," I heard a soft female voice say. My heart pounded for a moment as I thought it was Sam; but it was only Amanda. "The party is really going out there, why are you not joining in?" She continued as she shut the door, leaving us in total darkness. She made no move to approach me.

I coughed; trying to clear my voice of any sign of crying, "Tired." I muttered.

"I would think so, after what you've been through." She whispered, now walking over to my bed and carefully sitting next to me.

Usually, I would have been really annoyed that someone came into my bedroom like this; but I was too weak to care. "Yeah," I whispered simply.

"Lara? Are you okay?" She asked. Even in the dark I could feel her gazing at me.

I could feel the pain flooding back again and struggled to keep the threatening tears at bay. "No," was all I could manage to say before my fight failed and more tears started streaming down my cheeks.

Since it was dark, we could only see the outline of each other's faces, so I doubt that she'd see my anguish. She must have heard me somehow though, because I felt her put her arm around me.

That move, even from just a friend, was so significant to me. I _needed_ someone to care. I needed _Sam_, but she was busy making out with Zip. This thought stabbed at my heart and I let out a strangled sob; Amanda pulled me into a hug and I fell into her, craving the comfort.

I stopped caring completely; the pain was so intense that it caused me to break. I would have had a million more stomach wounds than have to feel this right now. _I've lost everything; even Sam._ I can't look at her as a friend and I can't have her as a lover. We're stuck. I'm stuck. I let Amanda hold me; I needed human contact because suddenly I felt so alone.

She let me cry on her until she pulled me away, holding my shoulders. "Lara, fucking hell, I've never seen you like this." From the light of the door cracks, I could see her eyes were glazed over.

I gazed straight into her eyes, tears running, "There's only so much I can take..."

"Don't cry." She murmured as she took her hand from my shoulder and wiped a tear from my cheek. It was an oddly intimate moment, but rather than backing away, I relished in it.

I knew what was coming before it happened. I was_ waiting_ for it. I _needed_ it. I needed to feel something other than this pain. I needed a distraction. I needed someone to ease this grief. It seemed like a century before she placed her lips on mine. I didn't care that she was probably smashed out her face, or that I was a complete wreck; I needed this. I could feel my body reacting to her soft lips moving with mine. It had to potential to be really weird; but I _liked_ it.

It didn't take long before my hands moved to her hair and I started kissing her more furiously. My body was going crazy, finally getting the attention it so desperately desired. I couldn't get it from Sam so I accepted that it was Amanda instead.

I tried to pull away to take a breath but Amanda pushed me down onto my bed, straddling me. I could see where this was going, but in all my hurt and all my pain, I didn't want to stop her. I wanted to_ feel_.

She moved her lips from mine and she started kissing my neck. I leaned my head back, eager for more of this feeling.

"Lara, I..." Amanda stuttered through kisses, "I've liked you for so long; you're so amazing, I just can't believe I'm finally getting to _touch you..._" She moaned her last words, turning me on to the point of no return.

I had no idea that she ever liked me back when we were at university together. However, I wasn't complaining now.

"Don't stop..." Was all I was able to get out.

She continued kissing my neck as her hand snaked up my shirt, her fingers caressing my stomach until she reached my breasts. Her hand cupped one of them, toying with my nipple. She played with it using her fingers and my breathing sped up, along with my heart. _Christ._ I closed my eyes, pretending that it was Sam who was making me feel so good.

I let a soft moan escape my lips. Amanda took this as a sign to go full steam ahead, pulling my shirt up and over my head and un-clipping my bra. Since she already had her fair share of time with my breasts; she tugged my trousers down along with my underpants. I was practically squirming for her attention. My mind didn't feel clouded and confused for the first time in weeks, it just wanted one thing.

Amanda was taking her sweet time about giving me what I was craving for; instead she was watching me with amusement. "Lara, you're practically begging. Been a long time?" She laughed.

If I wasn't being restrained by my body's desires, I would have made a snide remark, but my body was _craving._ My mind was too. I just needed to forget.

"_Please..." _I moaned; all my dignity going out the window. She seemed to comply, leaning over me and kissing me as I hungrily kissed her back. She kissed down my body as I writhed on the bed sheets. Again, I closed my eyes, letting the feeling take over._ Imagining Sam..._

She pushed my thighs further apart before she slowly kissed the inside of them, just missing where I wanted her to be. _God... _I thrusted my hips forward and I could have sworn I heard her laugh before my thoughts scattered completely as she put her mouth right where I needed it to be.

I threw my head back, moaning as my back arched up. _Christ, it felt so good. _I moaned again with nothing but pure pleasure, moving my hands to Amanda's hair, pushing her head slightly towards me.

It was so intense that I couldn't keep still. I imagined the hair I was touching wasn't white-blonde, but rather, the dark hair of Sam's. Thinking about her made me moan again. All I could feel was her tongue on me, and it was _pure bliss_.

I could feel myself reaching higher and higher to my climax, moving my hands from her hair to gripping the bed sheets; my back arched again as the rhythm of her tongue increased. _Holy fucking shit_.

"Faster," I gasped, gripping the sheets harder, moaning again.

Keeping my eyes closed, I imagined Sam naked and her head in-between my legs; that it was her tongue doing this to me. The thought itself was too much for me, my moaning was loud and very frequent. My mind wasn't thinking of anything else, so I couldn't care that anyone might hear. The pleasure was almost unbearable. _Sam. Sam. Sam._ _Oh holy shit, Sam._

I was so close to the edge, and her tongue was pushing me off. "_Oh god, Sammmm!" _I moaned as I reached my climax, pulling the sheets down as I cummed. _It felt so good. _

_Wow. _My heart was hammering hard in my chest and I was sweating all over as I relaxed my grip on the sheets, calming down. For that one moment, I forgot everything. All the pain, all the hurt, all the loss... It was just me and Sam.

Amanda's voice cut the barrier between me and the real world. _"Sam?!_" She gasped, getting up from in-between my legs and turning the light on, illuminating her angry expression. "Did you just seriously say Sam?!"

_Fuck! What have I done? _"Amanda, I'm so sorry, I was just thinking about her because-"

"_You were thinking about Sam while I was getting you off?!" _She shrieked.

"No!" I lied, "not like that!" I could hear the panic rising in my tone. _Shit._

"You fucking like her, don't you?! I _knew_ it!" She accused; her expression hurt.

Even after such an amazing orgasm, I felt _awful. _My feelings were rushing back now that I came down from my high. "Amanda, I'm so sorry." I pleaded.

She looked disgusted at me, ironic because it was my wetness that was covering her lips. "I can't believe this..." She muttered, shaking her head before straightening herself up and leaving my bedroom, slamming the door hard behind her. It made me jump.

_Well done, Lara;_ I internally yelled at myself. I lay there unmoving; I didn't even want to know what she said to Zip and Sam; or even what they heard. I wanted to crawl into a tomb and barricade myself in.

As much as I hated to admit it, I'd used Amanda. I used her to forget my overwhelming feelings and to fulfill my desire for Sam. It was a mistake and I felt even worse now than I had before. I sighed, running a hand through my damp hair. I was sweating like a trooper; I'd never had such an intense orgasm, and I had to accept that it was because of my thoughts for Sam.

This realisation made me crave her even more.

"Lara?" Sam's voice sounded concerned. She busted into my bedroom and I hastily pulled my blanket up and over my sweat glistening body. "What the?" Her expression changed from concern to anger. "Lara! What the fuck did you just do? Amanda stormed out without saying a word to any of us and you look like you've just been shooting a scene for a porn movie."

I hung my head. I couldn't even begin to tell her, I felt disgusted in myself even more.

"Lara?" Sam said, making no move to come over to me. "Did you sleep with Amanda?" I looked back up at her and an expression of hurt crossed her face before she hid it with anger.

_I was thinking of you. _I longed to say. _I want you, Sam._ But of course, I didn't. I just nodded, I couldn't lie to her. She looked like she was about to cry. I had no idea she'd be so _angry_ with me.

"Sam, I'm not proud of it. It's only been five minutes after I've orgasmed and I already regret it." Sam winced at my chosen words. "I don't understand why you're so angry, Sam. I know she's our friend but you had no problem sucking Zip's face off!" I retorted.

"But it's _Amanda!"_ She yelled.

"And it's Zip that you were kissing! What's the difference?" I answered, feeling the anger boil in my body. _Why is she being like this?_

"Well, Amanda is different!" She shouted back.

"You mean_ female_?" I said for her, looking down. "Yes, Sam. Your best friend is a lesbian and I'm so sorry that I'm so hopelessly attracted to women." _To you._

She didn't say anything. I felt like I was about to cry. I'd lost my family, I'd upset Amanda_ and_ I'd upset Sam. She isn't going to want a best friend that just had an amazing orgasm thinking of her. It sounded so fucked up. I've fucked up.

When she didn't say anything I spoke. "I'm going in the shower." I muttered, dropping the blanket, getting out of bed and walking into my en suite bathroom completely naked.

I got in, soaking my body and trying hard to rub all signs of sex from me. I felt _disgusting._ What the hell had I done? I put my head in my hands sighing, letting the water run over me. I well and truly fucked up this time.

I scrubbed my body until it was sore; I'd lost a little respect for myself. I'd hurt Sam and that was not okay.

My thoughts were confirmed when I got out the shower, dressed and walked into the living room. Sam must have told Zip to go home, along with Alister because it was empty apart from cups and bottles. However, as I stood there, I could hear Sam's soft sobbing coming from her bedroom. My heart wrenched in my already pain-filled chest. _Oh, god. What have I done?_


	6. Chapter 6 - I Knew It

_Caught in the aftershock – Chapter 6 – I Knew It_

**By LaurenCroft, who is so sorry that she hasn't updated, but Christmas has had me so busy. This chapter is slightly a filler chapter, just developing the story and relationships along. It's a little shorter than usual but it felt like a perfect breaking point to end the chapter.**

* * *

Sam's sobbing stabbed my heart with every cry she let out. _This was all my fault._ I couldn't leave her to cry, especially not over me. I walked to her bedroom door, gently putting my hand on the door knob, and contemplated whether or not I should enter. However, her gentle sobbing answered the question for me and I pushed open the door.

As soon as the door opened, her crying abruptly stopped. Her room was dark, but the light that came in through the door allowed me to see the shadow of her hunched up on her bed.

"Sam?" I whispered.

"Go away, Lara," She muttered, her voice thick with tears. Her words hit me like a kick in the guts.

"Sam," I tried again, almost crying myself. "_I'm sorry_."

My words seemed to upset her more, as she gave up trying to hide her crying and started sobbing into her pillow. _Oh my god._ I closed my eyes to try and stop myself from crying with her. I wanted to crawl into bed with her, hold her and wipe her tears away - if only she'd let me - for as soon as I took a step toward her, she yelled at me.

"Leave me alone, Lara!" She cried, and started sobbing harder.

"Sam..." I whispered, tears welling in my eyes.

"Just go."

I had no choice, I didn't want to make her feel any worse by forcing myself on her, and so I left and went back to my own room. My bed was messy, reminding me what I'd done, so I ripped the sheets off and threw them on the floor.

Lying on my stripped and empty bed, I could still hear Sam crying. I don't understand why she's so upset. I get it, I shagged one of our college friends, but I'd have expected her to be a little annoyed; definitely not crying. She'd have probably ended up shagging Zip if it wasn't for my interruption. Why is she so upset then?

Maybe she's disgraced because I'm a lesbian. Maybe she feels disgusted that her best friend is attracted to women. Explains why she doesn't want me near her...

_Oh Christ._ I rolled over and put my head in my hands. If she doesn't like me being a lesbian, then she sure as hell is going to disown me when she finds out that she was the cause of my orgasm.

I _want_ Sam. There's no ignoring it anymore. I'm attracted to my best friend and there's nothing I can do about it. I knew she'd never want me like that, and there she is, crying her heart out because I'm gay.

I've really did it this time. All I was simply trying to do was end my pain, my pain over Yamatai, my family, _Sam... _I was just trying to_ forget_; and all I did is make it worse for myself.

I closed my eyes, begging for sleep, begging for a relief; a break from all of this. However, sleep did not come easy; with Sam crying just next door and my own mind racing at 101mph I couldn't even think about relaxing.

I climbed out of bed, walking into my en suite bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out a box of pills, not sure what they were exactly, but I think they were for flu. I popped 2 out anyway and swallowed them quickly. I figured I wasn't going to sleep by myself so I'd need a little aid. I wasn't sure if they would help, but I figured I'd try anyway.

As I settled back onto my sheet-less bed, I began to feel cold. I snuck into the living room, and looked around. It didn't take long before my eyes fell on the prize – Sam's jacket. I snatched it up and went back into my bedroom, lying down and draping her jacket over me, basking in her favourite perfume.

* * *

Turns out the flu tablets worked in getting me to sleep, either that, or Sam's perfume. I woke up and Sam was all I could smell. For a moment, I thought she was next to me, my heart soared, until I remembered that I was alone, as every gruelling memory from yesterday came flooding back to me. It was 11am and I wanted to go back to sleep, to forget it all again, but I knew that my efforts were futile.

I scrambled off my bed, sighing. As I got up, my shirt pulled on my stomach wound causing me to hiss in pain. It looked like all the blood and other muck had seeped through my dressing and had stuck to my shirt again. _Shit. _That's right, Sam hasn't changed it for me, obvious reasons why.

Unlike before, I didn't brace myself or cry out at the pain; I was hurting enough already. I just yanked my shirt off, with not even a wince, and peeled the dressing off; cleaning it up with the supplies that Sam had left in my room from before. Once I cleaned it up a little, it didn't look too bad. Quite pleased that it was healing, despite my negligence, I put a clean dressing on.

Since I felt like shit, I decided to get dressed to try and make myself feel better. Once again, I put on my usual tank top outfit. I re-tied my hair and straightened up a little. Even though I felt like shit on the inside, I didn't need to look like it on the outside.

I walked out my bedroom, planning to get lunch, since it was a little too late now for breakfast, but I was stopped in my tracks when a certain man was sitting with his arm draped over Sam. _What the hell was Zip doing here?_ It was like she was _trying_ to piss me off. And succeeding.

"Hey, Lara," Zip smiled at me, as I walked past the lovebirds to get to the kitchen.

"Hello, Zip," I muttered dryly. I'd never had any negative feelings towards Zip, we'd always got along considerably well; but with Sam in the equation, everything changed.

I walked into the kitchen, and pondered over what I'd just seen.

So, Sam gets upset with me over sleeping with Amanda, but she can have Zip as her boyfriend and that's totally okay? The only difference here is that I was with a girl. I must admit, I'm getting pissed off at Sam for having Zip over because _I want Sam._ She wasn't pissed off at me and Amanda because she wants me, because she's not gay. She's pissed off at me because _I am_ gay.

I had half a mind to call Alister and have him over, but decided against it. I wouldn't stoop to that level and I definitely wouldn't use someone like that again. It hurts you as well as the other person.

This _is_ ridiculous, though. She's perfectly happy with Zip, whereas I only used Amanda to fulfil my desire for Sam. I'm the one who's suffering. Why? And if Sam really is homophobic, or against me being a lesbian, then that'll break my heart. I can't lose Sam over something that I'm not in control of.

From the kitchen, I could see Sam snuggling closer to Zip. Even though I knew she was happy, it didn't stop me from being in pain. I couldn't stay trapped with them any longer. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes.

I walked out the kitchen, pulling my jacket on. "Excuse me," I muttered, hurrying out the door.

Thank god that the press hadn't gotten too much on me yet, as I was free to walk without anyone staring at me. It was cold in London, and I didn't know where I was going to go. I decided I needed a distraction. The cold air made my eyes water, at least I blamed it on that anyway.

As I walked down the street, I saw families and people milling around and smiling without a care in the world. I knew that they may not have had a perfect life, who had? But I couldn't help but feel envy towards them. They were all happy, with a family and great memories; but I was trapped in my own mind. A war raging within. They hadn't had the experiences of Yamatai. They hadn't lost all their family and then possibly lost their best friend to something that they couldn't control. They hadn't seen what I'd seen; felt what I'd felt. I wish I could turn it all around, but it was impossible.

I was momentarily distracted when I walked past an antique shop. I was about to go in to investigate when I remembered my own relics.

In all my pain, I forgot about all the relics that I had collected when I was at Yamatai; probably the only good thing that came out of it. They were stored in a storage unit near to home after they were transported off of the rescue boat. I didn't want to give them to any museums or anything, I wanted to write my own personal reports and do research on them myself_. That_ could be my distraction. I didn't trust anyone to get them but myself; so I went.

I walked in and asked to see my things, they must have recognised me but I was still required to prove my identity. I didn't have my passport on me so I was made to answer a ton of those 'what's your mother's maiden name' rubbish questions before they were able to let me into my storage.

There were a lot of things that I'd salvaged from Yamatai. It was nice to see that they hadn't been ruined; probably the only things that hadn't.

I decided to start my research and reports on the 3 ceremonial fans that I had collected from that hell ridden Geothermal Caverns.

I carried them home, my spirits lifting slightly; as I ignored the few weird looks I received at the semi-large box in my hands. My excitement and drive reminded me why I was meant to do this. Nothing excited or fascinated me more, except maybe Sam. As I walked in, she avoided looking at me, so did Zip. He must have sensed my earlier malice.

I went straight for my bedroom, pulling my jacket off and setting the box with the fans down on my desk. I switched my light on and started my laptop up. I was getting excited for the first time in ages.

I took out the first fan; the funeral fan. It looks to be early 18th century. Usually, black silk fans were used when conducting funeral rites for important nobles. I scoured the internet and examined the fan all I could while writing about it on a report for my own personal use.

I moved to the next fan, it looked rather new, no older than a few years and looked like it was made for a special occasion; probably a wedding. The picture on it was a decorative image of a couple. I pondered whether the previous owner of this fan died or got captured on Yamatai shortly before me.

Finally, the last fan was a 19th century folded fan. It had yellow-coloured silk with a wooden handle. The picture depicts a tree and some Japanese writing. These were often inscribed with poems or accounts of important events.

I pulled out my books, feeling the 'inner archaeologist' within me resurfacing. Again, I forgot my problems, fully focused on the beautiful mystery of the relics in front of me.

I must have been in here for awhile, for it was dark outside when I was interrupted.

"Here's the now, world famous archaeologist, Lara Croft, in her native habitat."

I looked up, it was Sam. "I thought you were angry with me." I said, looking back to my book; not meeting her gaze.

"Oh, Lara, you're angry with me too." She sighed.

"For different reasons," I stated simply, still fiddling with my books.

"Lara, I-" She started before I cut her off.

"Why are you angry with me, Sam? Did you cry last night because you found out that your best friend is a lesbian?" I turned around and looked right at her.

"No! Lara, why would you think that?!" She looked horrified by my accusation.

"Because why else would you be so upset? I get that I slept with Amanda but you have no problem cuddling with Zip, who is probably out there now."

"No, I sent him home." She muttered.

"Why?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Because we have things to sort out." She stated.

"Yeah? Then you should start by answering my earlier question and explaining why you were mad at me for being with Amanda when you were with Zip."

"Oh, Lara!" She started, her eyes were pleading. "You _slept _with her!"

"And you wouldn't have shagged Zip?" I questioned her.

"No," She muttered. But we both knew she would have. "It's hard to explain, Lara."

"Then try." I persisted.

"I can't, Lara." She looked like she was going to start crying again. _Oh Sam. _I gave up fighting her.

I got off my chair and rushed over to her, forgetting about our little argument and my anger. She was hurting. It was my job to be there for her. I pulled her into my embrace, her body against mine again made my muscles sing. It was like being given food or sex after craving it for days.

I held her tightly, not wanting to let her go. She pulled back and stared into my eyes. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. My own thoughts were screaming loud in my head. I wiped a tear from her cheek, and I was about to do the same to the other, when her lips gently touched mine.

I was frozen. No way was this real. I was dreaming. I was so shocked, I couldn't move. I couldn't think.

Sam pulled away, her eyes widened in horror. "I knew it," She muttered. "I knew that you wouldn't ever want me."


	7. Chapter 7 - After Everything

_Caught in the Aftershock – Chapter 7 – After Everything_

**By LaurenCroft who is getting too emotionally invested in her own story. Reviews always appreciated. I like to hear your thoughts, makes my hours of writing feel worthwhile. And lots of Sam and Lara fluff. **_**Finally!**_

* * *

Before I could say anything, Sam turned and ran from my bedroom. I was going to pursue her, but I needed to get my thoughts together. I sat down on my still bare bed and put my head in my hands; trying to make sense of what just happened.

I couldn't believe this. After everything, all I've suffered from, every single time I hated myself because of liking Sam, all for _nothing. _She liked me back. And somehow, though I couldn't believe it, she thinks I don't like her.

_Is she crazy?_ I'm _in_ _love_ with this girl. It finally somehow made sense. That's why she was so angry when I slept with Amanda; though how does it explain Zip? How long as she felt this way? Why didn't she tell me? All of these questions only had one place to find an answer.

As I walked from my bedroom to find Sam, my head felt clearer that it had in a long time. It didn't take me long to find her, she was crying again in her bedroom, rather loudly.

I rolled my eyes at her, silly woman. If only she knew_. All this time_.

I pushed the door open and there she was; sobbing on her bed. I was worried about telling Sam about my feelings in case I ruined our friendship and lost her, but not telling her seems to be doing that instead.

"Sam?" I whispered. She didn't respond. I walked over to her and sat on the side of her bed. "Sam, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" She muttered. "Not liking me back? You can't help it that you're attracted to light haired women over dark."

"Oh Sam, don't be ridiculous." I whispered, placing my hand on her back. Even though she had confessed her feelings for me, I still couldn't bring myself to tell her.

"Do you know how much it hurt?" She started, sniffling. "Knowing that you were attracted to women, and watching you choose Amanda and not me? I always ignored my thoughts about you, because I put it down to the fact that you liked men and not women. But after you slept with her, I _knew_. I knew that you just didn't want me that way." She finished by sobbing into her pillow. Her speech wrenched at my heart. I started rubbing her back gently.

"But I thought you liked Zip? Since when did you want me?" I murmured, still rubbing her back. I was asking questions to cover up what I really wanted to say. I knew it'd make me vulnerable if I opened up and I didn't like it. I was still _terrified_ to tell her, it'd become so normal for me to fight these feelings; I didn't ever imagine what I would do if I was to actually act on them.

"Lara, I started loving you this way since you risked everything to save my life. No one's ever loved me like you have, even if it's not in the way that I want. And Zip? He was just a drunken kiss that turned into an instrument to ease my pain." She sighed, her emotional state causing her to open up about much more the usual. My mind couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. This was not real. I'd _dreamed _of this. However, I still couldn't bring myself to directly tell her.

"You used Zip just like I used Amanda." I stated, ignoring the urge to hold her.

She stopped sniffling into her pillow to look up at me with her beautiful eyes. "You used Amanda?" She asked, seeming to perk up at this realisation.

I needed to tell Sam that it was her who I wanted; but I was just so scared. I never thought of the possibility that she would ever love me this way. And now that it's actually happening, it all seems very scary. What if it doesn't work? What if we fuck everything up? The closer we got, the more I had to lose. I'd lost too much already.

"I used her to ease my pain over loving someone who I thought didn't love me back." I murmured. I held my breath, waiting for her response.

"Lara..." She sat up, seeming to guess who I was referring to. It wasn't hard. Her eyes were swimming with immense joy.

"Sam?" I started, tearing up a little. "What if we mess this up? I'm scared."

She took both my shaking hands. "And all this time, both have us have remained in the dark, hurting each other..." She shook her head as if she couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't either. We'd gone from not talking, to us both declaring our love for each other. It was so insane.

"Is this real?" I asked. It felt more surreal than Yamatai. "I'm not just dreaming?"

"No, sweetie," Sam said, as a tear rolled down her face. "I sure as hell hope it isn't a dream; it's a dream I've had all too often."

I wiped a tear away from her cheek. "Stop crying."

She leaned into my palm. "I'm just so happy. Lara, you do want me don't you? I mean, you're not just going along with this for the sake of my fucked up feelings?"

"No, Sam. Trust me, this is something I've dealt with for a long time."

That seemed to be enough confirmation for her. As she smiled her gleaming eyes lit up. She placed her hand on my cheek, looking into my eyes.

"Can I?" It seemed silly that she needed to ask, but with our new relationship status, things have changed a little.

"You don't know how long I've wanted you to do this to me," was all I replied.

She didn't hesitate, placing her lips firmly on mine and kissing me softly. I wrapped my arms around her, and this time, kissing her back.

If I had to explain what heaven would feel like, I'd refer to this first kiss. It was like getting something you've wanted for so long, and you never thought you'd ever get it.

Kissing Amanda and imagining Sam was great. But nothing compared to her actual soft lips on mine. It felt so _right. _It made me wonder why I was so scared. It made all this heartache, all this struggling over the past few days, _worth it._

I pulled away to get air. "Oh, Sam, I can't believe this."

"Me either," She gasped, running a finger over my lips. "My saviour."

Her words warmed my heart. I smiled, before taking her hand. "Come on."

I took her to the living room and sat her down on the sofa.

"What are we doing?" She asked, smiling. All the traces of her previous pain were gone.

"Relaxing," I replied, putting a DVD in and turning the TV on. "Don't you think we need it?"

She smiled at me again, staring at me like I was a goddess. I don't think I'd ever seen her so happy.

"What's put a spring in your step?" I smiled, though I already knew because I felt it too.

"You," She said simply, grabbing my hand and pulling me down onto the sofa.

I fell onto the cushions and she crawled in-between my legs. She leaned up and kissed me softly. I could never grow tired of her lips. It's like trying to be bored of sex -impossible if it's with the right person. She then laid her head on my breasts, the rest of her body on my stomach and then lying in-between my legs. It felt like what we'd do as best friends, but now it had more meaning. Every one of her movements was more significant than before.

I stroked her hair softly as the film started, though I knew we had a lot to discuss so we wouldn't be watching it much.

"Don't you think you need to tell Zip?" I asked.

"Oh, don't worry about him. I think he knows." She laughed. "Though that didn't stop him from enjoying it anyway."

I raised my eyebrows and smiled. "Poor Zip, he had to deal with me being an arse."

"You know," Sam asked, changing the subject, "you never said why Amanda stormed out the door like that. She didn't even say anything to us; she was positively fuming." My heart froze a little. God, I couldn't possibly tell her.

"Sam, I don't think-"

"Lara! Just tell me." She said, twisting her body around so that her breasts were pressed firmly against mine. I took a deep breath, feeling the reaction in my groin. _Christ. _She must have noticed my elevated breathing but didn't comment on it. Instead, carried on pestering me to tell her what happened with Amanda.

"Did you tell her that she was shit? Though I don't see how because you said you cummed." She winced at the last word. I felt bad, but I couldn't change anything.

"No, no. It's nothing." I said quickly, attempting to divert the conversation. I tried to shift my body from under hers to escape, but she felt my movement and put even more weight on me.

I could easily have moved her, but her breasts and her groin were now both pressed firmly against my own, this rendered me almost immobile.

"Tell me." She demanded, looking firmly into my eyes.

"Sam-"

"Lara, stop with the bullshit."

_Shit. _"Sam don't make me do this."

"Tell me, Lara, or I'll confiscate your books and take you on an all-day shopping spree. Your choice." She winked and shot me her cheeky smile.

I sighed. "Fine... Well, when I reached my, you know, my climax-"

"Lara, you're blushing." Sam laughed, reaching a hand to touch my warm cheeks.

I batted her hand away, rolling my eyes. "Anyway, I – I said someone else's name and not hers."

Sam receded a little, removing the too comfortable pressure she had on me. "You _didn't." _She was _laughing._

"Sam! It's not even funny." I said, swinging my legs from under her and getting up from the sofa.

"No! You're right. It isn't. I'm sorry. Poor Amanda." She blurted out, still laughing.

When I continued to walk away, she ran over to me and wrapped her arms around my stomach, being careful of my wounds. "Lara, sweetie, I'm sorry."

I pushed her away jokingly, but she just resumed her hold on me. "Whose name did you say?" She asked, but I was sure she already knew the answer to that.

"Sam, why do you do this to me?" I murmured, pulling her around to my front.

"Because it's cute when you get all shy and embarrassed," She smiled, wrapping her arms around me.

"You _know_ it was you." I smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly. I don't think I'd ever been so happy, even before Yamatai. Being in love, and someone loving you back, it was such a beautiful thing. _My Sam._

She pulled away, smiling. "You don't even understand how much that turns me on. Lara, you _cummed_ moaning my name. I'm getting goose bumps, look," She laughed, gesturing to her arms.

I pushed her away, blushing. She knew exactly how to get a certain reaction out of me. She knew how to work me. I blushed again as the realisation of what I just thought made me think of the bedroom. _God._

"Sam, you will be the death of me." I said, shaking my head.

"You _love _me," She winked, purring.

I laughed and threw a pillow at her. "I'll tell you what, I love food, I'm starving," I muttered, remembering my missed lunch.

"It's quite late, wanna go out for dinner?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

I thought about it for a moment. "It's been a big day, I'd prefer if we could just stay in for tonight." My head was free of all the cotton wool that was clouding it; but it didn't stop it from whirring.

Sam's eyes narrowed in concern. "Sweetie, are you okay?"

"Fine," I smiled.

She walked over to me placing a hand on my arm. "I'll fix dinner." She smiled before walking into the kitchen.

I sat down, putting my head in my hands. _Wow. _My life, in a matter of a few hours, seems to have completely turned around. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I wanted Sam this way, of course; but I didn't ever plan what would happen if we actually did get together. I never had any incline that she was a lesbian, least of all for me. It made all my worrying and heartache before seem so pathetic.

Finding out that Sam felt for me back was like a dream come true. Really. It eased so much of my troubles and pain, but also surfaced some more. What if I were to lose her over an argument? Feeling for her this way would make me feel much more intense feelings for her. I remembered what it felt like to be in fear of never seeing her again. I remember how lost I felt at the thought of having her removed from my life, and with our new developing relationship, I can be certain that those feelings could get a million times worse.

I could never imagine loving Sam anymore than I already had. But this is a different kind of love, a more intense love; and I'm scared.

"Lara?" Sam whispered, as I snapped my head up out of my hands.

"Sam," I murmured.

"Are you okay?" She asked, concern present in her expression.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I muttered, faking a smile but I knew it was pitiful.

"Lara, sweetie, what is it? Are you having second thoughts about us?" She looked scared, her expression mirroring my feelings inside.

"No, Sam, of course not," I smiled slightly, taking her hands.

"Then what is it?" She asked gently.

"I'm scared, Sam. I'm scared of losing you. What if I risked my life to save yours on Yamatai; what if we went through all of this together, just for me to lose you through an argument or because something doesn't work out? We can't be friends again; these feelings, they're too intense. This worries me even more, because it'll ruin me if I lose you; no one has meant as much to me as you and I've lost almost everyone dear to me. I know that I shouldn't be thinking like this but-"

Sam cut off my rambling. "Lara, you know better than anyone that you can't let fear stop you. You carry on despite the fact that you're scared. You didn't let the Solarii separate us, you didn't let the stormguard separate us and you didn't let Himiko; so you're not going to let anything, least of all an argument, separate us. You're a _survivor_; you're my _saviour_. It'll be fine, don't worry. And, if I somehow die and you're left alone then-"

"_Sam._" I said sternly, letting her know to stop saying things like that.

"I was just going to say that you can be happy knowing that I died rather than get sucked into Himiko," She smiled. _Oh how she joked about the most serious things._

"You're an idiot." I laughed, rolling my eyes at her.

"But I'm _your_ idiot." She beamed, leaning in to kiss me gently.

Her lips were beautiful, fitting mine perfectly. It was so _natural_; and so, so amazing.

I ran a hand through her short hair. "_Mmmmm_," I murmured into her lips.

She pulled away, her cheeky smile on her face. "Someone enjoying themselves?"

"Oh, shut up," I laughed, turning away from her gaze.

Again, I realised how much she knew me and how well she knew how to get a reaction from me. She knew me better than I even knew myself.

I was so happy, unlike before, that if I had to fall in love with anyone, that it was Samantha Nishimura.


End file.
